So I saw this commercial the other day for Verizon that showed a preggers wife going into labor.   She says “it’s time!” and her husband looks up at her and is like ok one sec—-just gotta update my facebook status to say that you are going into labor—-ok let’s go!  That was the literal selling point of the commercial.  That you could quickly update your facebook statuses on your phone.

Wait wait wait.  I think that we as a human race should pause for a moment and take a look at our priorities.  What do we have here?  We have Wife in Labor.  Priority number 1: pay attention to woman in labor and take her to the damn hospital.  Then, while you are waiting 10+ hours at the hospital and she’s in between contractions and you have a free moment, go spread the news!  Call you parents!  Call your best friend!  But if you wouldn’t call that co-worker who invited you to that Fourth of July barbecue that one time 3 years ago, don’t update your facebook status before you take your wife to the hospital.  Random co-worker don’t need you right now more than she does.

And speaking of technological “advancements,” this reminds me of a commercial for the Motorola Droid 2.  The tagline is that it will turn you into an “instrument of efficiency”.  The dude’s arms literally turn into these creepy robot arms.  Again, is that supposed to be something we WANT?!  Do we really want to turn into robots perpetually attached to technology?  I know how it all ends people.  It’s either gonna be a robot apocalypse or a zombie apocalypse (my money is on the robots).  Let’s not make it easier for them.  Humans unite!  Humans with our bumbling ways and our charming, inefficient mistakes!  Humans that talk to each other in real time and not through status updates and text messages!  As much as I like robots, I seriously don’t want to be one.  And I’m starting to be freaked out by how dependent we are on technology.  I no longer know anyone’s phone numbers.  I don’t know how to get anywhere without my GPS.  I never really knew how to add (what if I’m stuck in a life or death situation where I have to do basic arithmetic precisely?!).  We gotta be careful, everyone, let’s not be sitting ducks.  Have we all already forgotten the moral of Wall-E???  Or the Matrix?  Or Terminator?  Fight the robot power. 

rant by Liz (wearing her tinfoil hat and her paranoid rantpants)

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p.s. - When I was recently downloading apps for my Droid, I saw an app called “Phonebook” that incorporates pictures and birthdays and all kinds of fancy things with your existing contacts.  My immediate reaction was “oh that’s so clever! A combination of facebook and your phone! Phonebook!”  Cue 5 minutes later when I was like holy shit, phonebooks are real things that have existed 50+ years before facebook.  What did I tell ya? The robots are WINNING.